On March 23, contributing parenting columnist Katherine Martinko answered reader questions about social media and its effects on youth, and Australia’s recent social media ban.
Readers asked about whether Canada should follow suit on a social media ban, how parents can talk to their kids about their online use and how to step away from screens. Here are some highlights from the Q&A.
Benefits and downsides of social media for kids
Is there nothing positive about kids using social media – no benefits whatsoever?
Katherine Martinko: It’s not all bad. Social media can afford some opportunities for healthy interaction among people who also have fulfilling in-person social lives, but it depends on how old your kids are, what percentage of their day is being spent on these platforms vs. hanging out in real life with friends, what communities they’re engaging with, etc.
But just because connection is possible online does not make it as good as the connection that happens in real life; it’s an inferior form of socializing for many reasons, so we don’t ever want it to replace that.
One of my sons is into “lookmaxxing” at the moment. Do I think he needs to drink coconut water to slim down his face? No, but if he wants to try it out, I’m not going to stand in his way
Martinko: I’d be leery about it. Looksmaxxing sends a potentially dangerous message to young men about how they’re supposed to look. It centres around the idea that a boy must have specific physical traits in order to be seen as desirable. There are practices to enhance their looks that can be quite harmful, like smashing their jaw with a hammer to create microfractures that are said to cause it to grow back more defined. Coconut water certainly isn’t harmful, but be cautious about it being a “gateway drug” into more damaging practices.
Is there evidence to support that youth in schools have shorter attention spans now in 2026 compared with the pre-social media era in 2002?
Martinko: Yes, absolutely there is! There was an interesting study from the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital a few years ago that used MRIs to measure the thickness of grey matter on the surface of children’s brains, as well as the depth of their brain folds, and it found that kids exposed to excessive screen time from a young age were worse at encoding memories, language development, feeling empathy, reading facial cues and body language (though they were better at visual processing).
A brain raised on screens becomes conditioned to needing hyper stimulating content to stay “focused,” and struggles to pay attention to longer, deeper chunks of information. It’s pretty scary to think about those effects long-term.
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Parental strategies and digital detox
As a parent, I want to limit my kid’s access to phones and the internet but I’m feeling the pressure coming from their friends all being on those platforms. I don’t want my child to feel left out, any advice?
Martinko: Yes, this is a familiar feeling for many families. I’d say, get comfortable with being uncomfortable! There’s nothing wrong with telling a kid, “The rules are different in our household. This is just how we do things.” Many families limit certain things for dietary, religious, philosophical reasons. This is no different, so stick to what you know to be best for your kid.
DO seek out workarounds! This isn’t about cutting off your kid from their friends. Can you get a landline? Can they borrow your phone to FaceTime? Can they use a computer to send iMessages? There are lots of seemingly old-fashioned ways to connect and socialize that sometimes we forget about.
Xavier Lorenzo/iStockPhoto / Getty Images
I’m trying to do a digital detox with my family, but everything we do seems to always involve screens. How can we push away from this and find something we actually enjoy?
Martinko: A phrase I come back to a lot in presentations about managing screen time is “fix your analog life first.” It comes from Cal Newport, author of a great book called “Digital Minimalism.” The idea is that you need to set yourself up for success, embracing high-quality leisure activities and setting up analog, screen-free hobbies to fill your time, otherwise the allure of your device will simply be too strong and you’ll go back to it.
Think of “filling the void” that’s left when you ditch the devices. What games, activities, craft supplies, baking ingredients, books, magazines, music, etc. can you fill your home with in order to maximize your family’s chances of success at detoxing? Also, get the screens out of sight/reach completely to make it easier. Set goals as a family, create a list of boredom-busting activities that you can turn to when it’s hard, and do it all together. Model behaviours as parents that your kids will learn to emulate. It’s not easy, but it’s doable! Good luck.
I have a 16-year-old, and I’m worried that I have no idea what he’s doing online. Do you have any tips on how to approach this conversation?
Martinko: You’re right to be worried! The biggest piece of advice I’d give you is: You’re in charge. You’re his parent, and he needs guidance right now. Sit down and have a direct, blunt conversation. Express your concerns. Ask him how things are going. I think it’s important for parents to have access to their kids’ devices – and for the kids to know that their parent has their password and will do random spot checks. Set some basic rules, e.g. no phone in the bedroom at night, ever. Consider not letting him take his phone to school (that’s what I do with my teens). Any gaming should happen in a communal space in the home so you can monitor how much he’s playing and what he’s playing.
It’s OK to revisit the rules surrounding screen time in the home. You can say, “I made a mistake by letting you get [whatever platform] at the age I did. We’re going to be walking that back.” Just as you’d expect to know what a child is doing in the real world, you have every right to know what they’re doing online.
How is social media connected to kids’ academic performance and attention/deep thinking? What are the issues parents and teens should know about?
Martinko: The problem with social media is that it offers a variable reward system that is irresistible to a young brain. You never know what you’re going to get when you refresh that newsfeed or check notifications, so it becomes something that a young, developing brain can’t help wanting to check constantly, especially when confronted with a tougher cognitive task, such as doing homework or studying for a test. Why do the hard work if there’s something more fun at hand? The temptation to dip into the world of social media is extremely powerful, and it undermines kids’ ability to enter that “flow” state that is known to bring profound joy, satisfaction, and creative accomplishment to people’s lives.
I do fear what will happen long-term if the kids growing up now never know what it’s like to focus deeply on a task. That’s why I think it’s important to keep phones far away while kids are in class, at school, and doing homework at home.
Hugo Winwood-Smith, left, Hardy Macpherson and Edan Abou, right, all 11 years old, use their phones while sitting outside a school in Sydney.Rick Rycroft/The Associated Press
Regulations, bans and accountability
Did the ban in Australia make a difference? What have the first few months been like?
Martinko: I read that there has been a quantifiable increase in the number of books and puzzles being sold in Australia, which is a fun and lovely consequence to the phone ban! One national bookseller reported a 24 per cent increase in foot traffic on the day the ban took effect. So, that’s one thing I’ve heard, along with the fact that many Aussie parents feel reinforced by this “official” age limit that they now perceive as giving them permission to stand up to their kids. (Yay for reclaiming parental authority when it comes to screens!) Of course there have been loopholes found by industrious teens, but that’s to be expected. A ban doesn’t have to be perfect to be put into place. You’ve got to start somewhere.
All signs are pointing to these bans being necessary. Why hasn’t Canada followed suit?
Martinko: I agree 100 per cent that we need a minimum age for social media account creation, 16 at minimum. Australia’s move was bold and unprecedented. Many countries are watching it to see how it plays out. I suspect that Canada is cautious, scared, reluctant to stir the pot and annoy millions of teens (and maybe some parents, too) by enacting a similar ban. Ontario’s recent-ish phone ban in schools is an example of a performative, toothless effort to make it look like the province is making a change, but isn’t really.
I wish things were different! I wish Canada were willing to be a leader in this, to step up to the plate and show the rest of the world that it prioritizes the well-being of its youth. But so far, I’m not seeing much evidence of that. We’re likely to find ourselves scrambling to catch up to more progressive nations in this regard.
Do school cellphone bans work? The results are mixed
What is the role of schools in this?
Martinko: Part of me feels sorry for schools even having to deal with this, because it shouldn’t be their job to have to police personal phone use in the classroom. Teachers have enough work trying to educate kids; I do wish we had a comprehensive bell-to-bell phone policy in all Canadian schools, or in the absence of that, that parents would limit kids from taking them to school, because phones and school do not mix! There’s abundant evidence for that.
In the meantime, I’d like to see schools do a few things. Issue a statement of support to families that choose to delay access to social media and smartphone ownership. Make it aspirational instead of weird. Next, please stop allowing extracurricular clubs, teams, and groups to use social media for vital communications. This puts enormous pressure on families to let their kids sign up for Snapchat or IG earlier than they otherwise would. For example, my son’s football team has an official WhatsApp group and an unofficial Snapchat group. He can only participate in the former, because I’m not going to let him get Snapchat just because the team has it. I wish I had the school’s support in this.
