You rolled your eyes at their first line, considered leaving them at camp, and now you can’t imagine the party without them. Every RPG has one: the companion whose first impression is a red flag, and whose second, third, and fiftieth impressions are the reason you keep playing. Often, you’ll find that even the most gruff or off-putting companion has a heart of gold somewhere deep down. Sometimes very deep down, but still. You might realize that a krogan mercenary’s temper comes from a plague that is killing off his whole race. (Or you might just decide to kill these brusque companion candidates on sight and call it a day.) These nine companions, ranked from merely irritating to the worst of the bunch, are your field guides to the red flags that you might, with time, learn to ignore.
9
Wrex (Mass Effect)
Red flag: He’s a grizzled, cynical krogan grump who’s rarely happy to see you. At least, at first
In BioWare’s iconic sci-fi RPG, Commander Shepard chases a rogue agent across the galaxy with a squad of lovable weirdos. That includes Wrex, a krogan mercenary who always looks like he’d rather be shooting something. He’s got a perpetual chip on his shoulder, but he’s got a reason for being that way: He just wants what’s best for his race, and that race is dying. (A plague that keeps most of our species pregnancies from surviving would put many of us in a bad mood.) On one particular mission, he can turn on Shepard outright, which means you will need to either talk him down or take drastic, if unfortunate, measures. If he lives, he will become one of Shepard’s most loyal allies by Mass Effect 3. He grumbles quite a bit, but Wrex will eventually follow you anywhere you point him.
8
Jade Curtiss (Tales of the Abyss)
Red flag: He meets stressful situations with a snide quip
Tales of the Abyss is a 2006 JRPG about a sheltered noble named Luke fon Fabre who stumbles into a war. Along the way, Luke meets Jade Curtiss, a colonel from rival Malkuth. Jade is a brilliant scientist in his thirties, making him the oldest member of your party. He answers even the most serious subjects with a snide quip. His sarcasm can sometimes tip into cruelty, and an overwhelming percentage of his dialogue is snarky jabs at the rest of the party. This can be fun the first time you hear it, but after a while, it gets a bit stale. Ask him if he’s joking, and he’ll tell you he’s “always serious.” Okay, Jade. Tragically, as the adult in the room, his takes are usually correct, so he’s a valuable party member to keep around. If you like his sense of humor, so much the better.
7
Red Prince (Divinity: Original Sin 2)
Red flag: He’s royalty, as he’s happy to remind you in what feels like every single interaction
Larian Studios’ Divinity: Original Sin 2, a sprawling fantasy RPG about a party of Source-wielding outcasts, lets you or play as the Red Prince. He’s an exiled lizard crown prince who thinks he’s better than you. Plenty of players dislike him, but he has one of the best-written personalities in the game and an adorable side quest where you help him find the love of his life. After you’ve traveled together for a while, the Red Prince does start to respect you (a bit, anyway). The crown will always stay on, but the lizard under it turns out to be pretty decent company.
6
Debora (Dragon Quest 5)
Red flag: The game asks you three separate times if you’re really, really sure you want to marry her
In Dragon Quest 5, a 1992 JRPG that follows its hero from boyhood through marriage, the wife you choose becomes a permanent party member. The 2008 Nintendo DS remake adds a third choice: Debora, the elder sister of one of the original brides, who walks down the stairs and volunteers herself. It’s not hard to see why you’d be attracted to her: She’s snide, stuck-up, and she makes you sleep on the floor on your honeymoon. (We’re sold!) The series’ creator, Yuji Horii, has described her as a choice nobody in their right mind would pick. The game realizes that Debora might not be your first choice for a life partner. It will ask you to confirm three separate times that you really would like to marry her. The last time, her own father is asking you if you’re sure. Pick her anyway, and she’ll become a really good party member and a truly loving wife. Even if she shows her affection by calling you the best servant she’s ever had.
5
Morrigan (Dragon Age: Origins)
Red flag: If you like helping people (like a normal person), good luck. She’ll sneer whenever you stop to do someone even a tiny favor
In BioWare’s dark fantasy RPG, your player character must gather allies against a monstrous Blight, the existential threat attacking your world.You meet a human mage named Morrigan early on, and she’s a shapeshifting bog witch. She’s also dry, sharp-tongued, and openly unimpressed with more cheerful characters, like fan fave Alistair. During your adventure, Morrigan will also be unimpressed by any attempts you make to help others, which can make attempting to romance her and being a good person a nightmarish challenge. Don’t listen to her complaints. Do the side quests anyway. Just get her that golden mirror by the end of the game, and everything will (probably) be fine.
4
Hiravias (Pillars of Eternity)
Red flag: The first time you see him, he’s eating a deer carcass
In Obsidian’s 2015 fantasy RPG, you play as the Watcher, a stranger with the ability to see souls. You can recruit druid Hiravias to your party, if you can get past the fact that he’s mid-meal on a carcass the first time you meet him. He’s foul-mouthed enough to turn plenty of players off after just a couple of interactions. His own clan cast him out because they believed his spirit-shifting ability was a bad omen. Perhaps his profanity and rough edges are just his version of armor? Fans of Pillars of Eternity, and of Hiravias, refer to him as the game’s much-needed comic relief. Come for the deer corpse, stay for his witty rejoinders.
3
HK-47 (Knights of the Old Republic)
Red flag: Thinks you’re a meatbag. And says so. Often
The recruit to watch in BioWare’s 2003 Star Wars RPG is HK-47. He’s an assassin droid who opens his lines with “Statement:” or “Translation:.” He’s got a lovely habit of calling all living things meatbags. Ask him to translate a delicate negotiation, and he’ll follow up by asking whether he should just go ahead and blast the other party. Helpful! While he can be obtuse and aggressive, his blunt humor can make working with him worth it. And if you’re tackling a dark side playthrough, pairing him and Canderous is the move. Query: Should you recruit HK-47? Answer: Yes, meatbag. Every time.
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2
Lae’zel (Baldur’s Gate 3)
Red flag: She has such judgmental takes on your actions that some players kill her every run
As Baldur’s Gate 3 begins, you wake up with a mind flayer tadpole in your skull. So does Lae’zel, a githyanki warrior with her own ideas about how you’re going to improve your situation. If you have other plans, great, Lae’zel will make it very clear that you’re doing things wrong at every turn. Her catalog of responses and reactions to your various adventures is not much better. It can start to feel grating when she disapproves of just about everything you do! However, her hard shell hides an extremely relatable fear of not living up to her society. She does get sweeter as the game goes on, and if you romance her, earning her trust is, in my opinion, one of the most satisfying experiences in the game. That said, she’s also a character that at least one player just straight-up kills when starting a new game. Do with that information what you will.
1
Wenduag (Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous)
Red flag: She’ll betray you the moment she stops respecting you, and winning that respect starts with making her kneel in front of her own followers
If you don’t like playing unhinged power games, Wenduag is not the companion for you. In Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous, a huge fantasy RPG about a crusade against a demon invasion, you meet Wenduag, a mongrel fighter. Choose her as a companion and you’re in for a treat! Wenduag, with her neutral evil alignment, respects strength — and nothing else. She antagonizes nearly everyone in your party. She’ll tell you love and loyalty are a sham. (Who hurt you, Wenduag?) Kindness doesn’t earn her loyalty, either; dominance does. When she’s holding an obedience class, you can stage a power play where you order her onto her knees in front of her own audience. Where every other jerk on this list rewards your patience, Wenduag is the worst, simply because the only way to keep her around is to be a bigger jerk right back.