The Toronto dating scene is, well, it’s a choice. A choice to engage and carry on despite its many flaws, or a choice to disengage, go home alone, and stick to watching Heated Rivalry.
It might have gotten to the point where many women are thinking, “Why do I even bother?” But we’re human and we want to meet people, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Except, can we really meet a good date in Toronto when there are so many things about dating in this city that just aren’t “it”?
So what exactly makes dating in Toronto such a struggle? Well, where do we even start…
The men
The Toronto man. We’ve met him, we know him, we’ve dated him. Well, variations of him, anyway. There’s the Finance Bro, who practically lives on LinkedIn. There’s the Gym Guy, who posts relentlessly on his Instagram from GoodLife. Or there’s the Nice Player, the guy who’s nice and all, but is definitely keeping his options open.
I could go on, but you get the point. There’s a similar thread running through all these men, and the main one is this: they’re noncommittal and definitely way too into themselves, their muscles, and their money.
Of course, not every Toronto man fits into one of these categories. But when you’re dating in the city, it can sometimes feel like you’re meeting different versions of the same guy over and over again.
The apps
We know the apps suck overall, but what makes them suck even harder in Toronto is that we’re under the impression they’re still our only real option for meeting people. Yes, there are singles events, run clubs, the gym and other places to meet people, but somehow none of them seem to stick.
Toronto is a huge city where everyone is busy, commuting, working, and running from one thing to the next. What used to be easier (like meeting someone organically in 2015) doesn’t seem to happen as much anymore. So our dating lives stay stuck on the apps, and no matter how much we complain about them, we just can’t seem to quit.
Guys don’t approach you
Or if they do, it’s usually pretty clear they’re looking for a hookup. Guys seem scared to approach women in public, and I get it. Still — what happened to just shooting your shot? It doesn’t seem to exist in Toronto anymore.
Even if you’re somewhere with a lot of people, going to bars or clubs now can feel more like a scene to be seen and posted on social media than a place to actually connect and have fun with other people. There’s a separateness in the city now that seems to exist socially. We don’t really socialize outside of our own social circles anymore, which means no cute stranger is asking for your number or asking you out.
There’s the dumb idea that there’s always someone better
This is partly due to the apps, and also just because Toronto guys seem to have their eyes scanning for someone else while they’re on a date with you. This happened to me when I was out on a date with an actor, and he was eyeing the waitress while he was sitting across the table from me. Like, seriously?
I think in a city with a lot of people and a lot of single people, there’s this thought that there’s always someone better out there. You can always swipe again, meet someone else, or find another option. Which is so… gross.
Scheduling is a mess
Torontonians like to lock down a date, but that can be tough when so many people are busy with their careers, fitness routines, and Netflix watching. Then there’s the fact that Toronto is such a large city that you might need to take a streetcar, subway, and maybe even a bus just to meet up for a first date.
It’s a struggle to make it happen, and while most of us do it anyway, the real struggle is meeting someone who was actually worth reloading your Presto pass for.
He wants to split everything
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not expecting a stranger from the internet to lay down $100 on a first date, but I don’t think it’s a big ask for a guy to buy a coffee or cocktail on the first date. Yet guys in Toronto seem to want to split everything on the first date.
Why would anyone commit to a full commute across Toronto, spend 45 minutes getting ready, and then end up splitting a $20 cocktail? What happened to good old-fashioned chivalry?
The 905 vs. Toronto Divide
Uh-oh. He’s hot, but he lives in Vaughan. Now what do you do?
Dating someone outside the city can feel like a long-distance relationship, so it simply becomes “not worth it.” You end up not swiping because you already know how this ends: traffic, getting stuck on the 401, and catching the GO train to see each other. Not worth it.
Even if he has everything good on paper, the second you hear, “He lives in Mississauga,” it suddenly becomes not only a logistical issue, but a way of life. And if you’re someone who loves Toronto, you don’t necessarily want to mess that up.
Because let’s be honest, you’re not moving to the 905 for a man you met on Hinge.
The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.