85 Funniest ‘What Do You Call?’ Jokes To Crack You Up

What is it about ‘What do you call…?’ jokes that is just so pleasing to the ear and the funny bone? It’s everything from the gag line to the delivery—or maybe they’re so satisfying to hear because at the end of the day you just really need a good laugh. And what’s better than a solid punch line? We found the funniest “What do you call?” jokes for kids and adults that will have you doubled over in laughter.

Maybe you want to hear them because you want something to tickle your sides (metaphorically), or because you just need some good icebreaker humor for an awkward office party or hangout with new acquaintances. Either way, funny “What do you call?” jokes are a major crowd pleaser and lighten the mood in nearly every scenario.

No matter who you are or where you come from, we can all agree that jokes make us laugh (for the most part if they’re good). So with that in mind, dive into some of these one-liners to add a little spring to your step, or to share with your friends the next time you need to be the funniest person in the room. Maybe you’ll even impress your family members, who can admittedly be a tough crowd.

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85 Best ‘What Do You Call?’ Jokes

1. What do you call a paper airplane that won’t fly?
   Answer: Stationary
2. What do you call the food that dyslexic zombies like to eat?
   Answer: Grains
3. What do you call a woman who only has one leg?
   Answer: Ilene
4. What do you call 2 guys hanging on either side of a window?
   Answer: Kurt ‘n Rod
5. What do you call a guy standing in front of a door?
   Answer: Matt
6. What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in the ocean?
   Answer: Bob
7. What do you call a woman who burns her bills?
   Answer: Bernadette
8. What do you call a fish with no eye?
   Answer: A fsh
9. What do you call a homeless horse?
   Answer: Unstable
10. What do you call stressed-out dinosaurs?
    Answer: Nervous Rex
11. What do you call someone in debt?
    Answer: Owen
12. What do you call a jumping cow?
    Answer: A milkshake
13. What do you call a group of sheep rolling down a hill?
    Answer: A lamb-slide
14. What do you call a fake noodle?
    Answer: Impasta
15. What do you call a big pile of cats?
    Answer: A meowntain

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Funny ‘What Do You Call?’ Jokes

1. What do you call a short mother?
   Answer: A minimum
2. What do you call the daughter of a hamburger?
   Answer: Patty
3. What do you call a bagel that can fly?
   Answer: A plane bagel
4. What do you call a businessman with a briefcase in a tree?
   Answer: A branch manager
5. What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?
   Answer: A URL-ologist
6. What do you call an M&M that went to college?
   Answer: A Smartie
7. What do you call a baby polar bear?
   Answer: An ice cub
8. What do you call a witch who lives on the beach?
   Answer: A sand-witch
9. What do you call a key that opens the door on Thanksgiving?
   Answer: Turkey
10. What do you call shorts that clouds wear?
    Answer: Thunderwear
11. What do you call milk that gets anything it wants?
    Answer: Spoiled milk
12. What do you call a funny mountain?
    Answer: Hill-larious
13. What do you call a cute door?
    Answer: Adoorable
14. What do you call someone who paints funny pictures of cars?
    Answer: A car-toonist
15. What do you call a magician on a plane?
    Answer: A flying sorcerer

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‘What Do You Call?’ Jokes for Adults

1. What do you call a dead musician?
   Answer: A decomposer
2. What do you call the ocean’s favorite laundry detergent?
   Answer: Tide
3. What do you call someone who can’t stick to their diet?
   Answer: A desserter
4. What do you call the lights on Noah’s Ark?
   Answer: Flood lights
5. What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in the ocean?
   Answer: Bob
6. What do you call a man with a toilet on his head?
   Answer: John
7. What do you call two octopuses that look exactly the same?
   Answer: Itenticle
8. What do you call a bear with no socks?
   Answer: Bear foot
9. What do you call a crab that plays baseball?
   Answer: A pinch hitter
10. What do you call a farm that grows bad jokes?
    Answer: Corny
11. What do you call a skeleton who goes out in cold weather?
    Answer: A numb skull
12. What do you call a dog magician?
    Answer: A labracadabrador
13. What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?
    Answer: A moosician
14. What do you call a Christmas tree that knows karate?
    Answer: Spruce Lee
15. What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
    Answer: A punch potato
16. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
    Answer: A stick
17. What do you call someone who raises hens?
    Answer: A chicken tender
18. What do you call a fly without wings?
    Answer: A walk
19. What do you call a happy cowboy?
    Answer: A jolly rancher
20. What do you call a rude cow?
    Answer: Beef jerky

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‘What Do You Call?’ Jokes for Kids

1. What do you call an indecisive bee?
   Answer: A may-bee
2. What do you call prehistoric sleepovers?
   Answer: Dino-snores
3. What do you call a sleeping male cow?
   Answer: A bulldozer
4. What do you call a bear that delivers Christmas presents?
   Answer: Santa Claws
5. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
   Answer: A gummy bear
6. What do you call a city dog?
   Answer: A downtown hound
7. What do you call an assertive ostrich?
   Answer: The boss-strich
8. What do you call an angry carrot?
   Answer: A steamed veggie
9. What do you call it when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
   Answer: A meltdown
10. What do you call a cross between a dinosaur and a pig?
    Answer: Jurassic pork
11. What do you call mozzarella that doesn’t belong to you?
    Answer: Nacho cheese
12. What do you call a camel with no humps?
    Answer: Humphrey
13. What do you call a bear with no ears?
    Answer: B
14. What do you call a gorilla with no ears?
    Answer: Anything you like; he can’t hear you
15. What do you call a monster who lives on your finger?
    Answer: The bogey man
16. What do you call a robber’s underpants?
    Answer: A pair of knickers
17. What do you call a medieval lamp?
    Answer: A knight light
18. What do you call a criminal at the North Pole?
    Answer: A brrr-gular
19. What do you call something that has the head of a man and the tail of an eagle?
    Answer: A quarter
20. What do you call people who love ceilings?
    Answer: Ceiling fans
21. What do you call a phoney serpent?
    Answer: A fake snake
22. What do you call an overweight dog?
    Answer: A round hound
23. What do you call a gummy worm on the beach?
    Answer: A sandy candy
24. What do you call a mean sandwich?
    Answer: Rude food
25. What do you call a wet bear?
    Answer: A drizzly bear
26. What do you call a bike that doesn’t want to go hiking?
    Answer: Two-tired
27. What do you call a cold dog?
    Answer: A chili dog
28. What do you call a funny pizza?
    Answer: Cheesy
29. What do you call it when French fries hang out?
    Answer: Ketchup

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Cheesy ‘What Do You Call?’ Jokes

1. What do you call two birds in love?
   Answer: Tweethearts
2. What do you call a piece of sad cheese?
   Answer: Blue cheese
3. What do you call a pig that does karate?
   Answer: Pork chop
4. What do you call a fish doctor?
   Answer: A sturgeon
5. What do you call a policeman in bed?
   Answer: An undercover cop
6. What do you call a pencil that is broken?
   Answer: Pointless

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