What would you do if you were Montreal’s mayor for 24 hours (with unlimited power and zero red tape)? That’s exactly what we asked MTL Blog readers in a recent Facebook post, and the answers did not disappoint.
From banning orange cones to fixing the STM overnight (somehow), Montrealers had no shortage of bold executive orders they’d pass if given the keys to city hall. Some were funny, some were furious, and others were surprisingly thoughtful.
Here’s what locals said they’d do with one day in Valérie Plante’s shoes — no city council approvals required.
Synchronized traffic lights
Several people said their first move as mayor would be to finally fix Montreal’s chaotic traffic light system. One commenter called it “something any idiot could manage with effort.”
Others proposed smarter synchronization and implementing intersection sensors to ease congestion and cut down on road rage.
Fix the potholes
Potholes are as much a part of Montreal’s identity as smoked meat and bagels — except nobody’s lining up for these craters.
Dozens of commenters said their mayor-for-a-day decree would be to patch up the city’s notoriously busted roads once and for all. Of course, that’s probably easier said than done. Montreal’s brutal freeze-thaw cycles and constant construction mean potholes are practically a seasonal tradition.
Still, one can dream.
Demolish the Olympic Stadium
Built for the 1976 Summer Olympics, Montreal’s Olympic Stadium has long been a lightning rod for controversy. Nicknamed “The Big Owe,” the iconic structure left the city with more than $1.5 billion in debt that took three decades to repay.
It’s no surprise, then, that some Montrealers would use their one day in power to flatten it completely. Others had more creative ideas — like one commenter who proposed transforming the space into “the world’s biggest indoor tropical water park with beach clubs.”
Given how long our winters are, it’s not a terrible idea.
New traffic rules
Montreal remains one of only a few North American cities where turning right on a red light is illegal. Unsurprisingly, many are in favour of scrapping that rule altogether.
Meanwhile, one detailed pitch included banning non-essential truck traffic during rush hour, along with launching a “road repair blitz to clean up the city’s crumbling streets once and for all.”
Tourist tax
One commenter floated the idea of tolls or taxes on non-Montrealers entering the city, with the revenue going to public services like health, education, and housing.
Toilets in parks
This one’s pretty straightforward. Montreal’s got a ton of parks and green spaces, but many are not equipped with toilets, forcing patrons to find a nearby business to relieve themselves.
A city state
A few users in favour of a more bilingual Montreal proposed something a little more radical: full separation from the province of Quebec, giving the city an independent budget, no more Bill 96, and freedom to govern itself like a mini country.
Cheaper parking metres
Montreal’s parking meter hours are another sore spot. One popular idea was to stop charging after 7 p.m. to give drivers’ wallets a break and businesses a better shot at afternoon foot traffic.
No noise complaints near venues
Too many of the city’s beloved music venues have been penalized or permanently closed due to noise bylaws.
As a result, one user proposed that residents should not be allowed to file complaints about the racket if they reside within 200 metres of an established live music venue.
Remove bike lanes
Based on the number of bike-related comments, it’s clear that not everyone’s on board the cycling train. Some folks just want more space to park their cars, while others want all bike lanes removed and a return to the days when bicycles had license plates.
Whether that latter suggestion is satire or serious… we’ll let you decide.
Abolish language laws
Multiple commenters took aim at Quebec’s strict language policies, suggesting the city ditch them altogether to attract more business and boost diversity.
One user argued that removing the restrictions would “let the city flourish [and] stimulate business.”
Make public transit free
With STM monthly passes now costing more than ever (up to $104 for access to the entire island), several Montrealers said they’d scrap public transit fares altogether if they had a day in the mayor’s seat.
While service is already free for senior citizens, we don’t foresee this happening anytime soon.
Make a direct metro line to the airport
It’s one of Montreal’s most infamous gaps in public transit — there’s still no direct metro line to Trudeau airport. While the REM will eventually connect travellers to the airport, some locals think we’re overdue for a more integrated STM solution.
“Add a metro line to the airport,” one commenter wrote bluntly.
Let dogs run free
One commenter floated an idea that would make life a whole lot better for well-behaved pups and their humans:
“Dogs will be allowed everywhere off-leash unless they are not nice to others. It will be called the Nice Dog Pass.”
Put a cap on construction cone clutter
If you feel like Montreal is slowly being swallowed by construction zones, you’re not alone. From endless detours to mysteriously abandoned work sites, it sometimes feels like orange cones are the city’s unofficial mascot.
One reader proposed a pretty reasonable fix for the issue:
“No orange cones unless the construction site is being worked on or there’s a hazard, and a cap on the number of construction sites open at a time.”