The first thing guests noticed when they walked into the small event space was the smell of coffee.
Not catered coffee in a silver urn, but Maxwell House brewing in an old machine that hissed and sputtered exactly the way it had in Krystal Riddell’s grandmother’s kitchen for five decades. Beside it sat a half-finished pack of Belvedere cigarettes and an overflowing sugar bowl, atop her grandma’s scarred wooden kitchen table – the place where neighbours came to gossip, grandchildren were fed pasta, and nobody escaped without staying at least an hour longer than planned.
People instinctively pulled up chairs.
“They sat down and started reminiscing immediately,” recalls Riddell, a funeral home director and owner of Essentials Cremation and Burial Services in Niagara Falls and Welland, Ont.
Her grandmother had been an unstoppable social butterfly whose life revolved around feeding people and talking to them across that table. So, when she died, Riddell didn’t want guests standing stiffly in a funeral home receiving line. She wanted them to feel as though her grandma had merely stepped away to stir sauce on the stove.
The traditional funeral, including visitation, chapel service and burial, remains deeply important for many people, particularly those with strong religious ties or cultural customs. But funeral directors say celebrations of life – rooted in the personality, passions and quirks of the person who has died – have surged in popularity over the past decade as Canadians look for gatherings that feel warmer, less formal and more reflective of the life lived.
“What people want now is authenticity,” says Riddell, who has spent more than two decades in the funeral industry. “Funerals are more structured. Celebrations of life can take any shape. They’re more customized, and in some ways, more true to the person, which is what draws people to this type of service.”
The shift is significant. According to a 2025 consumer trends report by the U.S.-based National Funeral Directors Association, more than 58 per cent of respondents have attended a memorial at a non-traditional location. This could include places such as conservation areas, museums, pubs and backyards.
Another factor behind the growing popularity of these events is a rise in cremations. In 2024, roughly 77 per cent of Canadians chose cremation over a traditional burial, according to the Cremation Association of North America, up from around 61 per cent in 2009. By 2029, the association estimates that number will be about 81 per cent.
“Because cremation allows families more time before holding a gathering, it has opened the door to more carefully planned and deeply personal memorials,” says Diana Robinson, owner of Celebrations of Life Toronto, a company that organizes personalized, non-traditional memorial events.
Robinson, formerly a funeral director for two decades, says she first noticed a shift about 20 years ago.
At first, the changes were subtle. Families began bringing in photographs of their deceased loved ones and creating memory tables. Then, some began to chafe at the rigidity of the conventional setting.
“People who have become more secular or disconnected from a community culture or religion are discovering their own values and beliefs, and what gives them comfort in a time of loss,” Robinson says. “A lot of people find the funeral home environment cold and not reflective of their loved one.”
Baby boomers, in particular, helped drive the movement toward customization and individuality, she adds. “They wanted ceremonies that resembled the people they loved.”
Riddell once organized a Blue Jays-themed celebration where guests wore jerseys. She hosted karaoke in a pub for a devoted music lover. And for a former ship captain, she held a memorial at a museum overlooking the St. Lawrence Seaway.
“People want the environment itself to tell part of the story,” Riddell says.
The emotional tone tends to be different, too. Traditional funerals often happen within days of a death, when grief is still raw and decisions need to be made quickly. Celebrations of life can happen later, giving families more space to think carefully about what would feel meaningful, says Louisa Horne, founder of Halifax-based Epilog Transition Services, which specializes in end-of-life care.
“There’s more room for creativity in a celebration of life than a funeral, and that creativity often shows up in unexpected ways,” says Horne. That could look like a loved one’s canoe paddle leaning beside a memory board. A stack of the deceased’s mystery novels, the pages filled with their hand-written notes.
“A successful celebration of life is like a wedding – it all comes down to the little details,” says Horne.
Toronto sales executive Greg Murray remembers agonizing over those details after organizing celebrations of life for both his stepmother, Sue Lindstrom, who died in 2021, and his mother, Donna Murray, who died in 2023.
He never considered a formal funeral. “I’m not a religious person and neither were my mom or stepmom,” says Murray. “We didn’t want the sadness of a funeral home.”
Instead, both gatherings were held at golf clubs because both women loved to play. But the similarities ended there.
His mother Donna was introverted and shy, so the event was smaller and quieter. No microphones. No elaborate audiovisual setup. Just speeches, photographs and his mom’s favourite chardonnay.
“My mom loved a glass of white wine, and she would have loved the toast we did in her honour,” says Murray.
Sue’s celebration was larger and louder. Her daughter, a Broadway performer, sang Over the Rainbow and Hallelujah. There was a podium, a packed room and lots of laughter.
For both events, Murray and extended family sorted through hundreds of photographs to create collages. Donna’s academic diplomas were displayed to honour the fact she returned to school in her late 30s and earned her doctorate. Sue’s career as a special education teacher was highlighted prominently. Instead of a guest book, the family asked each attendee to write down a favourite memory of the deceased.
Unexpectedly, Murray says the planning itself became part of his grieving process. “Writing a speech, picking out the menus – it was cathartic,” he says.
“There is strength that comes from having your family help you organize it. And there is comfort, on the day of the event, in seeing people you maybe haven’t been with in years. It’s the community aspect that really helps with the healing. I didn’t feel so alone.”
Kayla Hochfelder, lead clinical counsellor at Vancouver Hospice Society, says that sense of communal healing is one reason why celebrations of life (and funerals, too) resonate strongly.
She says mourners need to move between facing the pain of loss and adjusting to life without their loved one. “At a well-planned funeral or celebration of life, you’re not just attending an event, you’re participating in a collective remembering. People are contributing stories, meaning, perspective or just simply their energy. It helps people balance grief and adjustment.”
She believes the COVID-19 pandemic dramatically accelerated this cultural shift. “COVID meant we couldn’t gather in traditional ways, so people created rituals themselves and got more creative,” Hochfelder says.
One client of Hochfelder’s, who lost her outdoorsy husband, organized a camping trip instead of a formal memorial. “She had a life-sized cutout of him, and a bottle of Crown Royal on the picnic table,” she says. “Everyone toasted him around a bonfire. Then we danced on the beach, late into the night. It was exactly the kind of goodbye her husband would have wanted.”
Riddell says celebrations of life commemorate the loss of a loved one, but they’re also about continuity. They help transform someone’s physical presence into a shared memory.
At her grandma’s memorial, Riddell says people drifted toward the kitchen table almost unconsciously. “They poured coffee. They talked over one another. They reminisced. Long after the speeches ended, they still sat around that table. Just as it always had been.”
10 ways to plan a celebration of life
1. Start with the person. Think about their hobbies, passions, quirks, favourite foods, music and rituals. The most memorable celebrations feel unmistakably personal.
2. Pick a date that works for you. Celebrations of life don’t have to take place right after death. Choose a time when the family feels emotionally ready and when key guests (including those from out of town) can attend.
3. Set a realistic budget. Costs vary widely. A casual gathering in a community hall with simple catering may cost under $1,000, while large catered events can reach tens of thousands of dollars.
4. Select a meaningful venue. Parks, golf clubs, restaurants, museums, cottages and beaches can feel more personal than traditional funeral spaces.
5. Appoint an emcee or co-ordinator. A trusted friend, family member or professional celebrant can help guide the event and keep speakers organized.
6. Serve familiar food and drinks. Favourite family recipes and signature cocktails often spark memories and conversation.
7. Create opportunities for storytelling. Memory cards, open microphones, photo displays and video tributes encourage guests to participate rather than simply observe.
8. Think about music carefully. Personalized playlists often are one of the most emotionally powerful parts of a gathering.
9. Incorporate ritual if desired. Readings, poems, prayers or toasts can provide structure while still keeping the tone warm and personal.
10. Don’t fear humour. Funny stories and laughter often help people feel connected and comforted.
