One of the ironies of Thanksgiving is that it can feel like a thankless job for the host. The hours spent toiling over a hot stove are generally followed by hours washing up, all for a meal that can take less time to hoover than it takes to watch an episode of your favourite sitcom.
A thoughtful hosting gift is one way to acknowledge the effort (beyond, you know, pitching in and doing the dishes). Hosting gifts aren’t strictly necessary. “It’s never an obligation,” says Ann Elizabeth Burnett, aka Elizabeth Etiquette, a protocol expert in Vancouver. “No one should feel pressured, certainly not to bring something expensive.”
What to bring can be tricky. Wine and chocolate are long-standing go-tos. But fewer Canadians are drinking these days, and wellness is on the rise. “If you know your host is watching what they eat, don’t bring chocolates,” says Burnett. “If you know someone is abstaining from alcohol, don’t bring wine.”
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With edible gifts, there is another catch. “If you bring food or wine, do not expect your host to serve either that evening,” says Iva Musilek, founder of Courtesy Matters, an Edmonton etiquette consultancy. “The host has spent time preparing a menu for the evening, and the gift may not fit the plan for the meal.”
Musilek says flowers are a safe choice, particularly if you don’t know the host well enough to bring something more personal. “It is always better to bring the flowers in a vase, already arranged,” she says. “Sending your host to the basement to look for a vase of the right size while guests are arriving is not ideal.”
Burnett suggests considering outdoor plants, too. “Many people take pride in creating a warm welcome at their front entrance or making their patio feel cozy and inviting,” she says. “A flowering outdoor plant in beautiful autumn colours can bring warmth to these spaces and be enjoyed after the celebration has ended.”
Aside from potted mums, Burnett likes to gift what she calls a “me time package” with one or two magazines, “some artisanal biscuits or other special treat, nice tea or coffee, all to the host’s taste.”
Burnett points out the package can be assembled fairly economically. “The value isn’t monetary,” she says. “It’s about acknowledging the host’s hard work, encouraging them to take time to enjoy themselves after Thanksgiving is over.”
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Bringing items the host can use for future gatherings can be on-theme as well. Musilek suggests small bowls, cocktail or linen napkins, candles, soaps or decorative cutting boards. “If the host has children, a game, a box of Lego to entertain them before dinner could be very thoughtful.”
In terms of presenting the gift, Ottawa-area etiquette guru Julie Blais Comeau says to “skip traditional paper and wrap your gift in a colourful seasonal tea towel. It becomes part of the gift, and everyone can use a fresh one.”
Handwritten cards are great accompaniments, as are follow-up letters. “A host gift says thank you when you arrive,” says Blais Comeau. “A note afterward says, ‘I’ve continued to think about your hospitality.’ In many ways, that can be even more meaningful.”
When shopping for a hosting gift, consider small treats that will bring a bit of brightness to the event. Here are six Canadian buys to try for Thanksgiving.
Canadian Charades
Party games can be a playful way to occupy youngsters before the meal, or amuse young-at-heart adults after they’re stuffed. Canadian Charades, made by Victoria-based Outset Media, can get the whole group giggling with North of the 49th prompts, including slang and Cannuck cultural references.
Maison-Basque tea towel
Toronto-based Maison-Basque sews its tea towels in Canada with fine linens woven in France. Their Mauleon Fuschia line, with beautifully coloured stripes, would make an elegant wrapping paper alternative, or simply a nice gift in and of itself (better if the guest uses one to dry the pots).
Atelier La Louve Love Bowl
Atelier La Louve, based in the Laurentian town of Val David, produces handmade ceramics. Their Love Bowl, shaped like a heart, is both a decorative expression of gratitude, as well as a practical addition to a Thanksgiving table. The palm-sized dish is perfect for serving chips, nuts and other nibbles.
Potted mums
Vibrant mums are an ideal Thanksgiving plant because they bloom relatively late in the year. They make a nice host gift because the blooms are long lasting, adding colour and warmth to a space for weeks after the big day is over. Bonus, they often come prepotted, so don’t require the host to search for a vase.
Front Porch Tea – Sherman Downey Blend
Nicole Keats, founder of the Newfoundland Tea Company, was inspired to blend her herbal Front Porch tea – licorice, ginger and turmeric brightened with lemon and orange peel – by a Sherman Downey song about chilling outside in the early morning. It’s the exact kind of relaxed vibe needed after a hectic event like Thanksgiving.
Personal size charcuterie appetizer board
During Thanksgiving, adding clutter to a kitchen is a no-no. Weatherhead Wood Working, based in Fall River, N.S., hand produces cherry charcuterie boards that are diminutive enough at 4 inches by 7.5 inches to blend in, and attractive enough that they are worth adding to the fray.