There are certain things we never expect to forget about the people we love, especially our parents. Their voices, their laughter, even the way they smelled. But for Prince Harry, losing his mother, Princess Diana, at just 12 years old meant eventually losing access to some of those precious memories, too.
In his new MasterClass, Redefining Grief: Building Resilience Through Loss, which premiered October 8, the Duke of Sussex, 42, revealed how years of suppressing his emotions left him struggling to remember even his mother’s voice.
According to People, Harry eventually found an unexpected way to reconnect with those memories: perfume.
“I couldn’t remember my mom’s love. I couldn’t remember what she looked like. I felt like I had to be sad in order to prove to her that I missed her,” he explains.
His therapist introduced him to a technique involving familiar scents, something Harry had previously seen used with military veterans experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder.
For Harry, that meant spraying First by Van Cleef & Arpels, the floral fragrance Diana loved and which he had previously mentioned in his 2023 memoir, Spare.
“It was like being transported to another time,” he recalled, explaining that the familiar scent helped memories he had shut away begin to resurface.
The prince also reflected on the aftermath of Diana’s death in a Paris car crash in 1997. He recalled feeling uncomfortable when strangers openly cried for his mother while he struggled to express his own grief.
For years, he even believed she might still be alive and would eventually return for him and Prince William.
In the MasterClass, neuroscientist Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor explains how smell is closely connected to brain regions involved in emotion and memory, helping explain why familiar fragrances can trigger powerful recollections.
Harry also admitted that, for a long time, he felt guilty about experiencing happiness without his mother.
Eventually, he came to believe that Diana would have wanted him to be happy, a realization that helped change his relationship with grief.