Dear Sangita: After 12 years of hosting Christmas, my sister-in-law has announced it’s moving to her newly renovated home. My mother-in-law is thrilled. I’ve always enjoyed hosting and having a “role” in the family. And I think it’s totally rude that my sister-in-law didn’t even ask me about hosting before basically making this decision for everyone. Do I fight for the tradition or enjoy the break? — Christmas coup
Dear CC: It definitely is strange that she didn’t have this conversation with you beforehand. I always talk about hosting with everyone in the family before doing it at my house. I don’t know what her thinking was there, but maybe she really was just very excited to host. I would speak to her about it, if only to say, “Listen, I love hosting, and you know I really don’t mind doing it again.” If she says, “No no, let me try,” then maybe the two of you can come to an agreement about a hosting schedule. Let her host this year, you host the next year, and then keep alternating. That takes the pressure off both of you a bit as well. So I don’t think you need to take this negatively or assume she’s trying to do more than you or show you up. Get out of that mentality. As you said, it might be nice to enjoy the break hosting-free! Let her take on that responsibility and work this year, and be the bigger person and ask what you can do to help.
Dear Sangita: My husband sulks for days whenever the Leafs lose. It’s starting to actually worry me. He doesn’t get angry or have outbursts, but he gets so sad and dejected that sometimes he doesn’t even want to eat or tries to cancel plans we’ve had for weeks just because he’s “not in the mood.” At what point can I say that this is a real problem? — Blue-and-white blues
Dear Blue-and-white: As we all know, the Leafs lose a lot. So yes, I would consider this a problem! I think this is an extreme reaction to a team losing, especially a team like the Leafs. This feels like something else might be involved; I don’t think it’s just the game itself. You get used to the disappointment of them losing, so there must be something underlying that’s causing it. I think it’s worth investigating because this seems to be getting to the point where this sadness is stopping him from being able to enjoy watching the Leafs, and that needs to be addressed. What’s causing him to feel that way? Why does he have such high expectations still for a team like the Leafs? The reaction you’re describing sounds like he’s falling into a depression because of the game, so it’s possible there’s something else happening in his life and he’s letting it out through his disappointment around the Leafs. And I do have to bring this up because this is becoming more and more common. Is it possible he’s involved in gambling and he’s betting on the games in some way? That would add some real-life stakes to the sport that would definitely explain this kind of reaction.
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