My favorite part of any Fire Emblem game is the cast of characters, and Fire Emblem: Fortune’s Weave is no exception. The latest installment of Nintendo’s tactics series is full of memorable heroes, right down to the optional recruits. The stars of the show, however, are the primary heroes: the Flame Lords. Fortune’s Weave Flame Lords make for a multifaceted epic told through very different perspectives, not unlike 2019’s Fire Emblem: Three Houses. It’s a structure bound to inspire a generational debate: Which character is the best?
While fans are already fighting about that (Leda is a frontrunner out of the gate), I’m looking to answer that question in a more old-fashioned way. We must ask ourselves who in the cast would be most fun to party with. Yes, it’s a variation of the old “Who would you rather have a drink with?” question that’s often employed in presidential elections, but reworked to account for the fact that Cai is a minor. I’ve run the science here, and based on that, I have come away with the definitive ranking of Fortune’s Weave heroes, including your player-created character, based solely on their party potential. There’s no arguing with facts.
5
Cai
Maybe I just haven’t spent enough time with Cai to appreciate the game’s pluckiest hero, but I can not place him higher on this list. Yes, a big part of that is because Cai is simply too young to party even five years in the future, where the main story takes place. I’m not trying to hang my hopes for an evening on the guy’s fake ID holding up to a flashlight. But even putting that aside, Cai seems like the kind of guy who would spend a night shyly hanging around in the corner, avoiding conversations at all times. That’s kind of my job at a party, so I really need someone who can show some initiative and get us into a conversation. I don’t think “my dad is in jail” is going to make for the best icebreaker, even if it does invite at least some curiosity.
4
Dietrich
Dietrich might be my favorite character in Fortune’s Weave. He’s an absolute lunatic who is hyperfixated on whales and cold-blooded murder. I am obsessed with him. But as a party sidekick, Dietrich is a real roll of the dice. Maybe he ends up being the kind of mysterious stranger at the party who everyone keeps whispering about. Maybe he gets a few drinks in him and starts ranting about boats in a way that gets the entire room’s attention. More realistically, he’s going to roll up to a house party with Fabio in tow and completely kill the mood. The guy is an absolute freak, and while that’s what makes him fun, it’s not the kind of gamble you want to hang your social reputation on.
3
Eshmel
To be fair, I’m including Eshmel, the game’s actual main protagonist, here, but I think we all could guess they wouldn’t make it to the top spot. Eshmel is kind of a flat avatar by design, one who is mostly just meant to serve as the narrative device we use to navigate the Flame Lords’ stories. Eshmel doesn’t have much of a personality beyond being a badass warrior, which isn’t exactly the kind of person I’m looking to roll up to a bar at 1 a.m. with. So why are they above Cai and Dietrich? Because they have a cool bird! Perfect Bird Time would make for a killer party trick, and that might be reason enough to put Eshmel on the guest list despite their vibe being totally rank. Besides, who better to be your wingman than a raven?
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2
Theodora
Theodora is the definition of a hot mess, and I love that for her. The queen of Saramis has just the right mixture of charisma and chaos that is essential to any party situation. I can easily see her becoming the main character at any function, charming the pants off everyone in attendance while still being intimidating enough to protect you if someone tries to start a problem with you. The catch here is that your night will 100% end with getting kicked out of the party every time. Too many drinks, and she’s going to destroy something with her evil arm. Theodora is a time bomb, and you have to bring her along knowing that she will crash the hell out eventually. That will probably be worth the story nine times out of 10.
1
Leda
While Leda is an obvious pick for number one, she’s objectively the correct one. She is quite literally built for nightlife. If you show up to a party with her, she is going to be the last person on the dance floor come closing time. That would already be enough to put her in the top spot before, considering that she’d be a huge hit at parties with her vihuela. Sure, she might rub some people the wrong way as she commands a room’s attention every time she’s there. She also might accidentally summon some demonic beasts every now and then. But no amount of screw-ups would get her kicked off a guest list. If anything, they’d make per a permanent VIP. Leda is the kind of person you want around if you’re looking to instantly cut the line at even the most exclusive Manhattan nightclubs.