How to get kids to spend less time on their phones this summer, according to our experts | Canada Voices

On Wednesday, columnists Amberly McAteer and David A. Robertson answered reader questions about how to parent kids and teenagers this summer.

Readers asked about how to limit screen time, the best way to keep kids learning throughout the year and inexpensive ways to entertain. Here are some highlights from the Q&A.

Planning out your summer

With the cost of living crisis, what are some inexpensive things we can do around the city with two small kids under the age of five?

Amberly McAteer: Do less! From another member of the small-kids club, I’d tell you you’re thinking too big – kids do not need big, grand outings all the time.

My kids recently got a bug vacuum (does not hurt bugs!) and the hours and hours they have spent sucking up bugs and then studying bugs has been truly mind blowing.

Another thing I do is put a “bracelet” of packing tape on them, sticky side out, and go for a walk, collecting flowers and sticks and leaves to make a “nature bracelet.” Huge hit for boys and girls. They don’t need a science centre trip on the daily or even weekly – that could be a monthly.

Also do not underestimate a library visit and the power of a picnic blanket in the park. Somehow eating the same snack in a different location is a huge thrill for my kids.

For me and my kids, a trip to a Toronto Blue Jays game is the highlight of the summer. Hot tip: Plan to arrive for the fifth inning, get the ice cream in the hat and run the bases after. Who says summer outings can’t also be great for adults, too.

My daughter is 14 years old. She’s too young to get a job, so what are some options for what she can do this summer to fill a lot of her time productively?

David A. Robertson: You could look into volunteering. Some organizations will take on younger people. Could be at an animal shelter or at day camp.

You could get her to work on a new skill. Guitar could be cool! Or kill two birds with one stone: Get outside and take pictures. You could do a reading challenge, or even a fitness challenge.

What’s the best way to keep kids learning throughout the school year, so they’re not behind in September?

Robertson: An easy answer would be to get workbooks that are tied to the grade they are headed into after the summer. There are many workbooks that are grade-targeted, and it gets them to work their brains and prepares them for the content they’ll be addressing in the new school year.

McAteer: Don’t throw tomatoes at your screen but my advice is … the tablet. I’m currently working on a column about how we’ve villainized screens to an unhealthy extent. My kid’s tablet has helped developed her literacy so much.

It’s a screen, so it keeps her engaged. And she’s learning math and reading with such enthusiasm. The other thing: I don’t let her use it without my involvement. It would be a lot easier to give her the tablet and then go do something else – but easy isn’t the point.

What’s a great “staycation” that I can take my family on, that would work for teens as well as preteens?

Robertson: If you can afford it, heading out to a hotel in the city you’re in, maybe that has a pool. You can order out, and just chill!

But if you’re in the house, it could be setting up a little camp out in the living room, or putting up a tent in the backyard to make your own little campsite. Putting on a movie outside if you have a projector and a blank wall. Organizing a game night, ordering in some pizza, working on a puzzle … and throwing out regular bedtimes or expectations and just get away even if you’re not really away.

Managing screen time

My kids are four and six and are only allowed to watch TV on the weekends during the school year. How should I handle TV during the summer?

McAteer: To me, not all TV time is created equal. I think a few hours in the morning of TV – bonus points if it’s educational, bonus points if you’re at least half watching too and talking about it – is totally fine. Kids need downtime, too.

TV alternatives for me: My girls are huge into crafts right now, so if I can get them into a quiet craft in the morning, or a puzzle, I find that a nice way to start the day too.

How can I encourage my teens to spend less time on their phones?

McAteer: I’m not a mom of teens yet, but already I can see my six-year-old champing at the bit to get on my phone. What I’ve learned already and is something I’m not sure can be over-stated enough: Get off your own phone.

Also set a strict time limit, and if they can’t adhere to that, take the phone away, period. Kind, firm boundaries are the key. And for me – no social media until they’re 16. If they need to keep in touch over phone calls and location sharing, a smart watch will be their best friend.

How can I get my kids into books? I let them have screen time, but I want to give them the option of getting lost in a book the way I did as a kid. How do I find ones they’ll be interested in?

Robertson: An outing that could promote that: the library. Have them spend some time there and leave with a book or two that they’ve picked out. There is a book for every kid. It could be a comic (which is reading), a middle grade or young adult novel or even a picture book.

Once they’ve picked something they are interested in, set a time for them to read. You might have to be tough with this one, but over time, they’ll get the schedule, follow it, and I think they’ll want to have their reading time. Once you get the bug, it’s all over. I think they’ll find the magic.

Navigating life

What do I do if my kid doesn’t like the activity they asked to be signed up for? Am I a bad parent for letting them just quit?

McAteer: Let them quit! I recently wrote about this, raising a quitter myself who could not care less about a soccer ball.

I learned the benefits of quitting – or maybe more accurately, the benefits of trying new things. Research that came out of the University of Sherbrooke found that variety is key – not if your kid is the soccer superstar – but if they try several sports and develop a general love of physical activity.

How do I navigate money with my 14-year-old this summer? Should I give him an allowance and tell him he has to budget, ask him to do things around the house for money?

Robertson: I travel a lot, and when I’m on the road, I’ll often get a text from one of my older kids asking for some cash. I’m a sucker, so I usually cave, but I’m learning myself that I would do well to manage their expectations by limiting the amount of money they have. Plus … they have jobs. So, I think it’s a bit of making sure they do budget what they have.

It’s also requiring them to have discipline with what they spend and the responsibility to not spend too much. And if they do overspend, not to bail them out. But it’s getting them to think of things they can do on budget, because there’s lots that doesn’t require a bank account. But you’re right in your thought: an allowance that you stick to, getting them to budget and sticking to your guns.

Summer is known to be a time of higher risk, especially for “free-range” kids. How can we encourage embracing independence and a degree of boredom for growing tweens while ensuring their safety?

Robertson: I think part of it is finding a way to be comfortable with the radius they’re playing in, and then setting boundaries that don’t go beyond your comfort level. So, for me it was the park down the street, but not farther than a busier street just beyond. And today, it could be that you have a restricted phone for the kid so they can call or text you, but they can’t play on it instead of playing outside.

Then it’s probably going over safety skills depending on their age and location, so you can be confident that they are mitigating potential risks. Then you can establish some regular check-ins. So maybe they come home for lunch or in the mid-afternoon. Also, connecting to community. They could have a buddy system, so you know they’re around friends a lot.