Mariska Hargitay Says Family Secret 'Undid' Her Almost More Than Losing Her Mom

Mariska Hargitay is opening up about one of the most painful discoveries of her life.

During a recent appearance on CNN’s All There Is with Anderson Cooper podcast, the actress revealed that learning that Mickey Hargitay was not her biological father left her reeling.

Mariska was just 3 years old when her mother, actress Jayne Mansfield, died in a car crash, leaving her to be raised by Mickey.

“He was everything to me. So strong and so clear and so loving and so committed and determined,” she said of Mickey. “Everything that he taught me about working hard and being excellent … I’ve integrated into myself.”

That’s why discovering the truth was so devastating.

“When I found out at 25 that he was not my biological father, that undid me almost worse than losing my mom],” she admitted. “Because that’s when I felt, oh, I am really alone here. Like, really alone.”

After seeing a photo of her biological father, entertainer Nelson Sardelli, Mariska confronted Mickey.

View this post on Instagram

“I drove up to my father’s house … and I just started going after him and going, ‘Why didn’t you tell me? How could you not tell me? You lied to me,'” she recalled. But the conversation took an unexpected turn.

“He said, ‘You’re my daughter. You’re MY daughter!'” Mariska remembered. “And in this moment I went, ‘I have to take care of you.'” Although she eventually made peace with her father, Mariska admitted she spent years struggling with feelings of abandonment.

“Growing up thinking, why didn’t Nelson claim me? I don’t matter. I’m not good enough. He didn’t want me. Everyone lied to me. I’m an accident. I shouldn’t be here,” she said. Her perspective shifted years later when she discovered a letter her mother, Jayne Mansfield, had written to her grandmother “that explained everything.” The discovery ultimately led her to seek out Sardelli, who shared a story that changed everything.

“Nelson said to Mickey, ‘You’re the father of this baby, because you’re the one that wakes up with her in the middle of the night. You’re the one that takes care of her. You’re the one that will be there when she cries,'” Mariska recalled.

Looking back now, the actress says she feels differently about the situation.

“The irony is, I feel like everyone made the right decision—for me. And I have nothing but gratitude,” Mariska said, adding a silver lining of sorts: “So I do look at like a gift. We all have secrets, we all have skeletons in our closet, but if we look at them with disciplined curiosity, many times we can get to the other side.”

Mariska first revealed her family secret in the documentary, My Mom Jayne, which was released in July 2025.

As for how things turned out, Mariska ended up with two amazing dads. In July 2025, she celebrated a “magical” Father’s Day with Sardelli, now 91, according to People.