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You are at:Home » Writer Mary Renault on How Hate Can Consume Us Like Love: 'What We Loathe, We Graft Into Our Very Soul'
Writer Mary Renault on How Hate Can Consume Us Like Love: 'What We Loathe, We Graft Into Our Very Soul'
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Writer Mary Renault on How Hate Can Consume Us Like Love: 'What We Loathe, We Graft Into Our Very Soul'

11 May 20266 Mins Read

Though not a name that’s as well-known as other authors, Mary Renault was a visionary writer ahead of her time and is best known for her historical fiction novels about ancient Greece. In fact, when President John F. Kennedy was asked who his favorite author was, he said it was Renault. She was also popular with the gay community because her books included gay characters in same-sex relationships and featured them in a positive light, which was not common at the time. She herself was a lesbian and in a lifelong partnership with fellow nurse Julie Mullard from the 1930s until Renault died in 1983, according to Bibliomania.

Today’s quote of the day comes from one of Renault’s novels set in ancient Greece and talks about the concept of hate being just as strong as love, which, of course, isn’t a good thing.

The famous writer was born Eileen Mary Challans on Sept. 4, 1905, in Essex, England, and wrote under the pen name Mary Renault. She attended boarding school and then St. Hugh’s College, Oxford, graduating with a degree in English in 1928, Encyclopedia.com reported. While in college, J.R.R. Tolkien—author of TheLord of the Rings—was one of her tutors, even encouraging her to write a book set in medieval times. She ended up burning it, per The Mary Renault Society, because “she felt it lacked authenticity.” Tolkien was right about Renault sticking with historical fiction, though; she just ended up going with a different period and found success there. 

As Bibliomania reported, Renault trained to become a nurse in 1933, which is, again, where she met her life partner, Julie. The two of them were eventually drafted during World War II to be nurses in Bristol, tending to soldiers returning home to England.

Renault has a lengthy list of books she wrote, starting with six novels set in modern times, ending with The Charioteer in 1953. This was her first book to have gay men as main characters and love interests. Then, from the late 1950s until 1981, she stuck to historical fiction, again all set in ancient Greece.  

As mentioned above, today’s quote is a short but powerful line about how strong hate is. And how, if you let it, it can consume you just the same.

Related: Quote of the Day: Psychotherapist Viktor Frankl on Choosing Your ‘Attitude in Any Given Set of Circumstances’

Quote of the Day by Mary Renault

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“In hatred as in love, we grow like the thing we brood upon. What we loathe, we graft into our very soul.”

This quote comes from Mary Renault’s novel, The Mask of Apollo. This is set in the 4th century BCE in ancient Greece, and follows Nikeratos or “Niko” for short. He’s a “tragic actor” who also narrates the book. Through his perspective, you watch as Plato, the famous philosopher, clashes with Dionysios the Younger, a “young tyrant” and heir to Syracuse, which disrupts the whole city. 

The reason for the title is thanks to Niko’s golden mask of Apollo, which he carries around with him everywhere. The mask becomes his mascot, then a physical manifestation of his conscience at times, even telling it about his decisions. The mask came from a golden era of theatre, which is very different from what Niko is currently experiencing, where the masks they use now are flimsy and easily forgotten and discarded. So it represents not only a better time for actors, but also a strength that Nikeratos obviously wants to hold on to. 

Related: Quote of the Day: Psychologist Abraham Maslow on Personal Growth, Success and Stepping Out of Our Comfort Zones

Deeper Meaning of Mary Renault’s Quote—Hate Can Be as Strong as Love

This line is spoken by Dion, Plato’s friend and a politician, who talks Plato into being a teacher to Dionysios the Younger to guide him in the right direction after his father (the ruler) died, even though he’s a “young tyrant.” In this scene, which is near the beginning of the book, Nikeratos is sharing a meal with Dion and Plato, having met them for the first time. 

The conversation turns to vengeance, and how Dion has seen too much to believe someone should match their “enemies in cruelty.” He then tells Niko, “to crave revenge is to fall down before one’s enemy and east dust at his feet.”

Then, he says the quote: “What worse can we let him do to us? In hatred as in love, we grow like the thing we brood upon. What we loathe, we graft into our very soul.”

The sentiment is powerful. This character is essentially saying that hatred is just as strong as love. And so if you’re not careful, hatred can fully consume you, just like love can. 

“We grow like the thing we brood upon,” Dion says, meaning that if we hold onto hate, we’re feeding it and letting it fester and grow. So we can either “brood upon” love, or we can do so with a negative feeling like hatred. Letting disdain for someone take over your life and soul is one way you can use up your energy. And even though we might not realize it, hate, being as strong as love, will take hold of and suffocate us if we don’t let it go. 

Related: Quote of the Day: Psychologist B.F. Skinner on Perseverance, Reframing and Never Giving Up

More Quotes from Mary Renault

  • “You can make an audience see nearly anything, if you yourself believe in it.”
  • “Half the world’s troubles come from men not being trained to resent a fallacy as much as an insult.”
  • “One must live as if it would be forever, and as if one might die each moment. Always both at once.”
  • “Everything is change; and you cannot step twice into the same river.”
  • “True friends share everything, except the past before they met.”
  • “There is only one kind of shock worse than the totally unexpected: the expected for which one has refused to prepare.”
  • “One might have supposed that the true act of love was to lie together and talk.”
  • “The rightness of a thing isn’t determined by the amount of courage it takes.”
  • “I saw death come for you, and I had no philosophy.”
  • “To hate excellence is to hate the gods.”

Up Next:

Related: Quote of the Day: Philosopher Judith Butler on the Transformative Power of Reading

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