After spending most of a year living in France, I recently made my way back to Toronto for a visit, and wow. I really wasn’t expecting the culture shock I’d experienced abroad to throw an Uno reverse at me when I got back home.
I mean, I’ve spent most of my life in Toronto. I figured I knew enough about how things work here. But apparently, spending enough time away can make even the most familiar things feel like silly little surprises.
From pleasant moments to strange realizations that had me questioning my decision to move abroad in the first place, coming home has been an interesting experience. Here are some of the most jarring things.
Tipping culture
Few things reminded me that I was back in Toronto quite as quickly as being presented with a payment terminal suggesting an 18%, 20% or 25% tip. In France, tipping is generally optional, and restaurant prices include service. I might leave a little extra for particularly fab service, but there’s zero expectation to calculate an additional percentage every time I order something.
I’d nearly forgotten the peculiar social pressure of standing at a counter, being watched by a barista while deciding whether ordering a coffee TO GO warrants a 20% bonus. And after getting used to paying the advertised price, I’d also forgotten how irritating it is to remember that most displayed prices in Ontario don’t include sales tax. Sigh.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand that tipping is an important part of many service workers’ incomes in Canada. But nevertheless, I can’t pretend I’ve particularly missed it.
The abundance of bike lanes
I never thought I’d return to Toronto and find myself admiring its cycling infrastructure, but here we are. After living in Marseille (where commuting by bike can feel like an extreme sport), I was pleasantly surprised by how many dedicated bike lanes Toronto has.
Actual stretches of road reserved for bicycles! Physical barriers separating cyclists from traffic! Signs that suggest someone has given any thought at all to the possibility of getting around on two wheels! What a concept.
Marseille has bike lanes, too, but they can be pretty inconsistent, sometimes disappearing suddenly during not-so-great, overly aggressive traffic moments. The narrow streets, honking drivers, and the total chaos of navigating a city I don’t know super well don’t help, either. Now, Toronto is hardly a cyclist’s paradise, and I know the city’s bike lanes are forever a contentious subject… But still, coming home gave me a newfound appreciation for infrastructure I apparently took for granted before moving abroad.
The lack of eye contact
I guess a year away made me forget the fact that people in Toronto don’t really look at each other, because it took me by surprise.
See, something I got used to while living in France is that eye contact is pretty much a given, whether you enter a shop or pass someone on the street. And at first, that was pretty jarring, because sometimes it can border on straight-up staring. As a Canadian who’s been conditioned to politely avert my gaze the second I accidentally make eye contact with a stranger, I’d say it took some getting used to.
And apparently, I did get used to it, because I had something like a reverse culture shock when I came back home. I was struck by how quickly people look away in Toronto, and I realized I should probably stop staring. I used to appreciate the anonymity, but after living in France, I almost (almost) miss how everyone casually sizes up whoever they pass on the street.
All of the green space
Marseille has no shortage of natural beauty, especially when it comes to its coastline and impossibly blue Mediterranean water. But lush, leafy streets aren’t exactly what the city is known for. In fact, for the most part, it’s the opposite: a lot of concrete and graffiti.
Toronto, on the other hand, seemed positively overgrown when I returned. I was struck by the enormous trees lining residential streets, the little pockets of greenery tucked between buildings, and all the parks. Even neighbourhoods I’d walked through hundreds of times looked remarkably verdant. I still adore Marseille’s sunny, seaside landscapes, but wow, I’ve missed the grass.
The sheer size of everything
We all know that North America likes things big, but apparently it took moving to Europe for me to appreciate just how serious that claim is.
From the enormous pickup trucks to sprawling strip malls, everything in Toronto felt supersized when I finally returned after a year away.
And the roads! They’re massive, especially compared to the narrow, winding streets I’d become accustomed to in Marseille. The drinks, too. After getting used to relatively modest cups of coffee in France, seeing someone casually carrying around a beverage larger than their own dang head made me do a double take.
How comforting it is to speak without translating everything first
I almost forgot how much easier life can be when I get to experience it in my native language. I’d actually started to wonder whether I’d become shy while living in France. Nope. Turns out I’m still a certified Chatty Cathy in English. I just can’t speak French very well yet. And sure, I’ve been learning French since moving to France, and it’s improving. But it still requires a ton of mental gymnastics, even just to get a basic point across.
Since being back in Toronto, all that effort has disappeared, and I kind of feel like my personality is back? Seriously, the lack of social anxiety has made me question why I ever decided to leave in the first place, which has been a jarring thought to grapple with, since I was so stoked to pack up and go.
Feeling like a tourist in the place I grew up
One of the strangest parts about coming back home was realizing that I no longer experienced it like I used to. And it’s been a treat, honestly. After some space, it’s nice to look at it with fresh eyes and appreciate the things I’d taken for granted.
Toronto has its pitfalls, but there’s plenty to admire and explore, too, and I’m excited to see it with a new perspective.
The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.