Illustration by The Globe and Mail/iStock
Ask a Child Psychologist offers insights and advice on navigating youth emotional and mental well–being. It is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice.
Canada’s proposed restrictions on social media for children under the age of 16 have sparked passionate debate. At the heart of that debate lies a simple developmental question: When should we expect young people to be able to navigate digital environments deliberately designed to compete for their attention, shape their behaviour and influence their sense of self?
As a psychologist who has spent more than 25 years working with children and adolescents, my view is that the answer is simple: not before 16. Not because 16-year-olds are immune to the risks of social media, but because by mid-adolescence, many have travelled further along the developmental journey of identity formation and self-regulation than they had at 12 or 13. Developmental progress matters, and the policies we create for children should reflect that reality.
Adolescence is a time of profound change
For decades, developmental psychologists have understood that adolescence is a period of profound social change. Children gradually shift from looking primarily to their parents for reassurance to their peers. They also begin asking some of life’s biggest questions: Who am I? Where do I fit? Do I belong? This is not a flaw in adolescence. It is one of its defining features.
Opinion: We’re asking the wrong question about children and screen time
Neuroscience suggests that early adolescence is a period of heightened sensitivity to social acceptance and rejection, while the brain systems responsible for planning, reflection and self-regulation are still maturing.
This heightened sensitivity serves an important developmental purpose. Adolescents gradually discover who they are by experimenting with friendships, interests, values and social roles. Through acceptance and rejection, they begin to develop identity, confidence and resilience.
For generations, these experiences unfolded within relatively small communities of classmates, teammates and neighbours. Today’s digital platforms have transformed those developmental experiences into public performances that can be judged by hundreds or thousands of people.
The search for belonging remains one of the central tasks of healthy development, but the environment in which that search now unfolds has changed dramatically.
Help, the teen years are coming! Four ways to lessen conflict in adolescence
Social media did not create this developmental need, but it has learned how to capitalize on it. There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to belong. The desire for friendship and recognition is a healthy part of adolescence.
The challenge is that today’s digital platforms amplify those needs in ways that previous generations never experienced, rewarding attention and comparison on a scale that is unprecedented. In many cases, the longer young people remain engaged, the more valuable they become to the business models that underpin these platforms.
Social media platforms maximize engagement by capturing and holding attention through social feedback. Likes, comments, streaks, followers and notifications invite young people to measure themselves through the eyes of others.
Age limits can help protect healthy development
During my career as a child psychologist, I have watched the experience of childhood change. When I first began practising, children worried about fitting in at school or on the playground. Today, they worry about fitting in online.
The playground has become global, and the possibilities of feeling left out extend well after the school bell rings. For many youth, there is no longer a natural pause in the social day – a chance to step away, regain perspective and simply be a child.
This is why I support the federal government’s new social media bill. We routinely recognize that development takes time in other aspects. We set age limits for driving and alcohol because we understand that judgment and self-regulation continue to mature as teens get older.
Social media poses a different kind of risk, but the principle is the same: Adults have a responsibility to create environments that support healthy development while children are still maturing.
How to get kids to spend less time on their phones this summer, according to our experts
The need to belong never disappears, but the intensity of early adolescence often begins to soften. Older teenagers become more capable of reflecting before reacting, tolerating exclusion without feeling defined by it, and recognizing that carefully curated online images rarely reflect real life. They are better able to distinguish popularity from friendship, validation from self-worth and online attention from genuine connection.
That does not make older teenagers immune to the risks of social media. Many continue to struggle with anxiety, comparison and the pressures of digital life. It simply means that many have acquired stronger cognitive and emotional tools for navigating those challenges, making the developmental mismatch between the young person and the technology less pronounced.
Many young people experience anxiety and depression – here’s what to look for and how to help
Whether Canada’s proposed legislation ultimately succeeds or fails may prove almost beside the point. Its greatest contribution may be that it changes the question we ask. The issue is not whether children should become better at resisting technology. It is whether technology should become safer for children.
We have always known that healthy growth and coming-of-age depends on adults shaping environments that fit children’s developmental needs. The digital world should be held to the same standard.
Dr. Jillian Roberts is a practising registered psychologist in British Columbia, Alberta, Ontario, Yukon and the Northwest Territories. She is also a research professor of educational psychology at the University of Victoria. She specializes in child and adolescent development, family therapy and inclusive education.
