Before explaining AI, parents should ask their kids what they have seen or heard and what part worries them, Dr. Jillian Roberts writes.SB Arts Media/iStockPhoto / Getty Images
Ask a Child Psychologist offers insights and advice on navigating youth emotional and mental well–being. It is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice.
AI seems to have arrived all at once. It has already brought remarkable benefits, while eliciting complex questions and concerns we are barely beginning to understand. For today’s youth, warnings about what might happen next may carry a particular weight. They lived through the COVID-19 pandemic and saw how quickly typical routines could change. When they hear alarming predictions about AI, they may remember that experience – and wonder whether their world could suddenly be turned upside down again.
Recent warnings from AI researchers deserve serious attention. They are also predictions about possible future developments, not announcements that a catastrophe is about to happen.
In my decades of working with children and youth, I have learned that parents and caregivers do not need to have every answer. What matters is helping children make sense of what they have heard and making sure they do not feel alone with their questions. Here is my advice for starting that conversation.
Ask what your child thinks is happening first
Before explaining AI, ask what kids have seen or heard and what part worries them. A younger child may fear a machine could hurt their family tonight. An older youth may wonder whether there is any point in planning for university or a career. Those are very different conversations.
Listen first, even if your instinct is to correct what your child is saying. When a child asks, “Are we all going to die?” they are telling you they’re scared. Let them know you understand, then ask what they heard that made them worry. It may have been a video, something a friend said at school or a headline they didn’t have the context to understand.
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Adults also need to pay attention to how they talk about AI when children are nearby. A worried comment over dinner or a dramatic prediction shared with a friend may be overheard by a child who does not have the context to make sense of it. We can speak honestly about our concerns while being mindful of what children are hearing – and making room for them to ask questions.
Answer honestly, in a way your child can understand
Give children “just enough” information to answer the specific question they are asking. A younger child may only need to hear “AI is a technology people are still developing. Some experts are concerned about what it might be able to do, and people are working on ways to use it safely.” Pause there. If your child wants to know more, they will ask.
Older children and teens may want to understand why researchers disagree. You can explain that experts have serious concerns about future AI systems, but nobody knows exactly how the technology will develop. Take your kid’s concerns seriously without presenting the most alarming prediction as a certainty. Saying there is nothing to worry about may offer brief comfort, but it can undermine trust when they hear those warnings again.
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Parents cannot promise their children that nothing frightening will happen. They can listen, answer what they can honestly and keep talking when the answers are less clear.
Be clear about whose job it is to respond
Children often feel overwhelmed when they hear about a large problem but cannot see who is doing anything about it. Researchers, companies, governments and the public all have roles in deciding how AI is developed and used. The responsibility does not rest on a child’s shoulders.
For a teen who wants to take action, curiosity can be more useful than helpless scrolling. You might look together at where a claim came from, what a source actually said and whether other knowledgeable people agree. A teen might become interested in technology, public policy or the people working on safety. They should also know they are allowed to put the subject down and enjoy being a teenager.
Notice how much frightening content your child is seeing
When alarming clips appear one after another, the worry can build. You might look at the news together, talk about what’s reliable, and step away when it’s making your child more anxious. Time with friends, familiar routines and plans to look forward to can help bring their attention back to the life in front of them.
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The conversation may need to happen more than once. A child might seem satisfied today and return with a new question after talking to friends. If worry begins to interfere with sleep, school or other daily activities, seek additional support.
Our children will grow up in an AI world – and right now the implications of AI are just beginning to be understood. Children’s questions about AI will change as they mature. For now, the most useful thing we can give them is room to ask those questions without feeling that they have to carry our fears as well as their own.
Dr. Jillian Roberts is a practising registered psychologist in British Columbia, Alberta, Ontario, Yukon and the Northwest Territories. She is also a research professor of educational psychology at the University of Victoria. She specializes in child and adolescent development, family therapy and inclusive education.