Harley (Rory) Nott: Father. Wheelchair user. Wordsmith. Stoic. Born June 21, 1962, in Montreal; died Oct. 25, 2025, in Toronto, of medical assistance in dying; aged 63.
Harley (Rory) Nott and Tonka in the mid-1990s.Courtesy of family
Harley, or Rory as he was also known, lived two lives. His first life ended May 18, 1980, just before his 18th birthday when he dove into the Macjack River on Vancouver Island and broke his neck. His second life, lived from a wheelchair, as a man with quadriplegia, ended six months after his 63rd birthday.
A photograph of Rory taken on the day of his accident shows him striking an athletic pose, smiling at the camera, a vital, handsome teenager. Rory grew up a bit wild on Vancouver Island and his teenage years were filled with poor judgment and lessons learned. At 16, he was expelled from high school and worked in forestry and logging. After his accident, while paralyzed from the shoulders down and in rehab, he decided to live and live well.
He completed his education and pursued a career in law. He met Margaret Kralt in 1985, a fellow student at University of Victoria Law. Rory caught Margaret’s eye in class early on and when she smiled at him, it was the sweetest smile. They were first friends and later partners.
They married in 1988 and moved to Toronto for work. Rory litigated for the Department of Justice, a job he loved. His professionalism and competence were lauded by colleagues and judges.
Lawyers with quadriplegia are uncommon and he had help meeting the challenges he faced in his practice from Tonka, a black standard poodle and trained service dog. Tonka opened doors, picked up wallets and pulled Rory and his wheelchair navigating streets, hallways and courtrooms. On occasion, Tonka reminded agitated litigants who got too close, to stay back.
During his working years, Rory met weekly for lunch with friends, always at the same Greek place, telling stories, with maybe a bit of B.S. just for good measure. Tonka might have received food scraps during these lunches.
For years, Rory was deeply involved with the Canadian Paraplegic Association (now Spinal Cord Injury Canada) and later the Toronto Rehab Institute as a board member. In 2014, he acted in the play Borne, written by Judith Thompson, which explored the lives of people living with disabilities.
After his retirement in 2001, Rory became a stay-at-home parent, a role he grew into and relished as it meant spending more time with his two children.Courtesy of family
Rory and Margaret had two children, Evan and Margaret. When they were small, he was their happy charioteer, with his always available lap. He could, if he wasn’t stopped, go on and on about how great they were and their accomplishments. After his retirement in 2001, Rory became a stay-at-home parent, a role he grew into and relished as it meant time with his kids, being their chauffeur, hanging out and hearing their stories. What others were doing interested Rory and he was the repository for the stories of his kids and others.
Rory wrote beautiful congregational prayers for the First Christian Reformed Church of Toronto and songs with his friend John that they posted on YouTube. He and John had shared a room during rehab, and the songs reflected on their lives as men living with quadriplegia. They talked weekly about everything, from astrophysics and secular Buddhism to books, movies and family. Their bodies were limited but their minds ranged far and wide.
Rory loved his words. Why use one when you could use five? Why use one example when six really made the point? His family would listen, sometimes impatiently, with the odd eye roll. “Yeah, yeah, we get it,” was occasionally heard when Rory talked about something at length.
For most of his second life, Rory endured the many indignities, limitations, chronic pain and physical challenges that came with quadriplegia. Despite this, he lived with grace and determination. He did not complain. He was a man of calm reflection, kindness and self-effacing humour. His faith in God kept him company and was a support that he depended on throughout his life.
In 2025, Rory experienced significant increase in physical deterioration and pain, and he decided it was time to leave his second life. He didn’t want to go, but he couldn’t go on. He had lived well and it was enough.
Rory met death on his terms, as he had lived his life on his terms.
Margaret Nott is Rory Nott’s wife; Ron Beram is Rory Nott’s friend.
To submit a Lives Lived: lives@globeandmail.com
Lives Lived celebrates the everyday, extraordinary, unheralded lives of Canadians who have recently passed. To learn how to share the story of a family member or friend, go to tgam.ca/livesguide.