If you’ve ever been left on “read,” had a promising first date suddenly stop responding or watched someone disappear from your life without so much as a goodbye, you’ve probably experienced ghosting. The dating term has become part of everyday conversation, especially in the age of texting, social media and dating apps. But where did the word “ghosting” actually come from?
While ghosting might seem like a distinctly modern dating problem, the behavior itself is much older than smartphones. The term began appearing online in the 2000s before gaining widespread attention in the mid-2010s, when dating apps made it easier than ever to meet someone—and just as easy to disappear.
Here’s how ghosting became one of the most recognizable terms in modern dating culture, including when it first appeared and whether anyone can claim to have invented it.
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What Does Ghosting Mean in Dating?
According to Merriam-Webster, ghosting is “the act or practice of abruptly cutting off all contact with someone (such as a former romantic partner) usually without explanation.” In dating, it typically happens when someone suddenly stops responding to texts, calls or messages, effectively ending a romantic connection without having a breakup conversation.
The behavior can happen after one date, several weeks of seeing someone or even within an established relationship. The defining characteristic is that one person disappears from the other person’s life without clearly communicating that things are over.
The name comes from the idea of becoming like a ghost: Someone who was once present suddenly vanishes, leaving the other person wondering what happened.
Where Did the Term ‘Ghosting’ Come From?
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The exact origin of ghosting as a dating term is difficult to pin down, but the word appeared in online slang well before it became a mainstream relationship buzzword.
According to Dictionary.com, an Urban Dictionary entry dated Nov. 23, 2007, used the phrase “to ghost” to describe cutting ties with a romantic partner: “To ghost: Cutting all ties with a girl. I’m totally ghosting Ania as of right now.”
The expression may have connections to the older phrase “get ghost,” which was used in ’90s hip-hop slang to mean leaving or disappearing. Dictionary.com also notes that expressions such as “to ghost away” appeared much earlier, dating back to the 1800s.
In other words, the word didn’t appear out of nowhere with the arrival of Tinder. It developed from an existing metaphor for disappearing without a trace.
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When Did Ghosting Become Popular?
Although the term had been circulating online for years, “ghosting” became much more familiar to mainstream audiences around 2014 and 2015.
The rise of dating apps helped bring the behavior into everyday conversation. With platforms making it easier to connect with people outside one’s social circle, it also became easier to end a conversation or relationship simply by stopping communication.
By 2014, ghosting was already being discussed as a recognizable dating phenomenon, with ELLE publishing a story about the trend. The following year, the New York Times ran an article explaining the practice and its growing place in modern dating. The term also gained attention after high-profile celebrity stories brought the practice into the news.
In 2015, for example, Charlize Theron and Sean Penn‘s breakup prompted widespread discussion about whether Theron had ended the relationship by ignoring his calls and messages. The coverage helped introduce the term to an even broader audience.
Ghosting was added to Collins English Dictionary in 2015 and Merriam-Webster in 2017, cementing its place in modern dating vocabulary.
Who Invented the Term ‘Ghosting’?
There’s no confirmed single inventor of the dating term, although writer and cartoonist Hannah VanderPoel has been associated with helping popularize it.
In March 2014, VanderPoel released a parody music video called “Ghoster’s Paradise,” inspired by conversations with friends about people who disappeared after dates. In a 2019 interview with Elite Daily, she explained that she and a friend had jokingly referred to a man who stopped calling as a ghost.
VanderPoel’s video helped bring attention to the behavior, but the term was already appearing online years earlier, as evidenced by that Urban Dictionary entry. She also acknowledged that she couldn’t definitively say she and her collaborators were the first people to use it.
So while VanderPoel helped give ghosting a bigger platform, it’s more accurate to say she helped popularize the term rather than definitively invented it.
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Did Dating Apps Invent Ghosting?
No. People were disappearing from romantic relationships long before dating apps existed. What changed with the rise of online dating was how easy it became to meet new people, communicate digitally and abruptly stop responding.
The practice of ghosting predates the technology now associated with it. Dating apps and messaging platforms simply gave the behavior new ways to happen.
In fact, ghosting isn’t limited to romantic relationships. People also use the term when a friend, family member or even a professional contact suddenly cuts off communication without explanation.
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This article was drafted with the assistance of AI and thoroughly reviewed, edited and fact-checked by Parade editors. See our complete AI Policy.