While there are plenty of things I miss about Toronto, being away has made it very clear that leaving was the right decision for me.
Even if my desire to move had more to do with wanting to explore than it did with disliking Toronto, I’ve come to see that there are some things about my home city that I simply don’t vibe with anymore.
For context, I moved from Toronto to a small town, and I’m now living abroad in the south of France. Apparently, I’m on some kind of self-discovery journey, and I’ve been using relocation as a way to figure out how I actually want to live my life.
And maybe I’ll move back someday, but for now, I’m glad to be discovering different parts of myself now that I live in Europe — and even more glad to take a break from these aspects of Toronto that I’m not really a fan of.
The cost of living is actually absurd
There came a point where living in Toronto stopped feeling like a worthwhile trade-off and started feeling like I was straight-up being played.
It felt like I was paying a premium for everything (rent, groceries, drinks, the gym), yet I hardly felt like I was getting premium quality in return. Teeny-tiny apartments go for wild prices, and even then, more often than not, you’re compromising on space or location.
There was this ever-present stress that made me feel like I needed to make more money just to maintain a pretty average lifestyle. And I was starting to see that pressure in everything, including my career choices and social life.
Leaving made me realize how much mental space that financial pressure was taking up. It’s hard to feel okay with your situation when you’re constantly thinking about how much everything costs, and I’m sorry, but no thanks.
I wanted to live somewhere that felt more creative
A dreamy street in Marseille, France.
Brittany Barber | Narcity
Okay, I’m not saying Toronto isn’t full of a ton of creative and vibrant people — because really, it is. And it can offer a lot artistically. But that said, it isn’t always obvious. Like, you kind of have to hunt for it. You have to really want it.
Now, I say this in comparison to other places I’ve visited, where the creative energy is undeniable. Places like Marseille, Montreal, Oaxaca, Santiago, Melbourne… I could really feel it in those places, right away. For me, the arts scene in Toronto just isn’t the first thing that jumps out at me, and I wanted to know what it would be like to live somewhere where that feeling was more prominent.
Toronto winters suck in a special way
Brittany in Toronto during the winter.
Brittany Barber | Narcity
I know, Canada’s winters are cold. We all get it. But I genuinely think Toronto winters have a special place in hell. It’s one thing when it’s sunny and snowy and bright outside, but it’s another entirely when you’re stuck dealing with endless grey skies and slush.
It also kind of forces your entire social life indoors, which almost always means spending money. So there’d be long stretches where I barely saw my friends, simply because no one wanted to trek across the city just to pay $10 for a coffee.
I started feeling bogged down socially
I absolutely adore all of my friends and family in Toronto, but when it came to meeting new people in the city, I found it kind of hard sometimes.
A lot of interactions felt a bit surface-level or tied to networking. And it’s not that people weren’t interesting or kind, it’s just that a deeper connection felt a bit harder to access.
Over time, I noticed I was leaving social situations feeling drained instead of fulfilled. But leaving made me realize it doesn’t have to feel like that. I’ve come to believe that different places attract different energies, and for whatever reason, it’s been easier to find people I genuinely click with while living abroad than it ever was back home.
Part of that might be that I don’t have a comfort zone to fall back into here, so I’m more open by default. But I also think it has something to do with European culture — the long lunch breaks, the lingering, the fact that third spaces actually exist and are used.
I don’t love the cookie-cutter condo situation
Glass buildings in Toronto.
Brittany Barber | Narcity
There’s a certain aesthetic that dominates large parts of Toronto: towering glass condo buildings, often paired with the same handful of chain stores on the ground floor. It might be convenient, but it can also feel a bit cold (not to mention seriously lacking in character). And maybe I’d feel differently if they were more affordable, but they’re not.
What makes it even harder, though, is knowing what used to be there. In a lot of cases, I can remember the places these buildings replaced, intrinsically Toronto spots I felt attached to growing up. When I look at these boring apartments, it’s hard not to feel like the city lost a bit of its je-ne-sais-quoi, you know?
Getting around can be truly exhausting
Driving in Toronto.
Brittany Barber | Narcity
Getting from point A to point B in Toronto can feel like such a mission. The Toronto Transit Commission (TTC) is fine, until it’s not. Delays, detours, jam-packed trains, slow streetcars… it all adds up.
And even when everything’s technically working, distances can make simple plans feel like a commitment. And don’t get me started on driving in the city. You can bike if you’re able to, but doing so can only take you so far sometimes, especially when it comes to the weather (and whether or not you have a bit of a death wish, because it’s really not for the faint of heart).
I got tired of constantly rushing
Like a lot of big cities, people are on the go, and everything can feel a bit urgent even when it doesn’t need to. But I was constantly moving from one thing to the next without much space in between, and it was starting to weigh on me.
Even my downtime started to feel rushed. Like I needed to get through it quickly so I could get back to being productive again. And maybe part of that might have been a me thing, but it’s hard to ignore how much that feeling melted away once I left.
Living in a small town in Ontario felt a bit too slow for me, but Toronto just didn’t feel right anymore, either. I seem to have found more of a middle ground in Marseille, which still has a ton of energy, but also leaves room to pause. And now that I’ve experienced this pace of life, I think it’ll be mighty tough to go back.
This article has been updated from its original publication date.
The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
